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LuxuryBrown
Franchise Player
Joined: 09 Jun 2006
Posts: 17429
Location: Mackadocious, Ca.
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 Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 12:58 pm Post subject: |
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| psydesho wrote: | | LuxuryBrown wrote: | | psydesho wrote: | | frijolero01 wrote: | jesus what year is it? anyway, just like psydesho said, you are in control of what makes you happy. Unfortunately, if that includes your own mother out of the picture then so be it. Sorry, i know she's your mother but she is being very selfish about the situation. She is not putting herself in your shoes. If she only wants what makes you happy then none of this would be happening. You are old enough now to start worrying about your own life and family (if you decide to have one). Just know that your happiness is very important to you and should be important to your mother as well. Im a beaner who's been dating a white woman for a couple of years and sometimes I think my family likes her more than me  . |
My family (the ones I associate with) do like my wife better than me. It's hard being a negro in a mixed relationship world. Damn family haters. |
I am not only black - but I am El Negro!
Whoa! I don't know if you're Black and you were just funnin' around with frijoler01 since he affectionately referred to himself as a "beaner", and if that's the case, then cool. But if you aren't, I wouldn't reccommend using that term around Black people...for safety sake - your own  |
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 Ok, bro, I was just checkin'! 
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| Quote: | Smooth, but I move like an army / Bulletproof down in case brothas try to bomb me / Puttin' brothas to rest like Elliot Ness / Cuz I don't like stress
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999
Franchise Player
Joined: 19 Oct 2006
Posts: 20267
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| Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 5:14 pm Post subject: |
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if you love the guy and the guy loves you then do the damn thing and get married. who cares what your mom thinks.... its your life and once you start droppin kids you will see how much your mom loves you regardless of who you are married too...
I refuse to beleive your mom is this close minded. |
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Phil
Retired
Joined: 03 Aug 2001
Posts: 10007
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| Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 5:53 pm Post subject: |
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I sent you a pm with more personal comment and information. But, this chapter of the "Phophet" by Gibran should be studied and understood by all parents. It is sad that parents think they "own" thei children.
http://www.columbia.edu/~gm84/gibran4.html
On Children
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable. |
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GonzagaAlum
Star Player
Joined: 09 Dec 2005
Posts: 3021
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| Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 12:03 am Post subject: |
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I'm about to get married Dec. 30th. My fiances mother is not attending, because really a lot of psycho (bleep). Her dad is... my family is.. etc..
It's been hard on my fiance. It really has. Her mother isn't attending her wedding...
however a mother is secondary when talking about creating YOUR family. This is a key point to realize... that family you've been apart of your whole life... it becomes your "secondary" family after you are married.
Yes it's still your family. Still the people you share blood with... but once you find that "person", that's your new family first and foremost.
In Lakers terms... your parents and the family your parents created becomes the "6th man"... you and your significant other... are the starters now...
Pushing parents away a little bit is apart of truly maturing into adulthood.
I had to do that with my parents... they came around.
My fiance had to do it with her mother and father (who are divorced)... one came around... one didn't.
We still sent her mom multiple invites... updates on our lives... give her calls... etc... but she's choosing not to show because of the hardness in her heart. Nothing we can do about that...
don't cater to the hardness in your mom's heart.
Sometimes the most loving thing, the most honorable thing you can do for a loved one is to put your foot down.
If you give credence to the "10 commandments" remember it says "honor thy father and mother"... sometimes "tough love" is honoring them.
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How can I get a copy of a Laker game played on Sunday, March 11, 2001 Sonics/Lakers? If you know PM me please
I would be willing to pay you for it. |
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Steve007
Franchise Player
Joined: 21 Jul 2006
Posts: 13349
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| Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 5:08 pm Post subject: Re: PLEASE HELP -- NEED ADVICE PLEASE!!!! |
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| krazypoetic wrote: | | There is one problem: my boyfriend is not the same ethnicity as I am and my mother refuses to meet him because of this (after three years). We have been dating three years now and this has always been our biggest problem. I love him so much and I dont want to give him up but my mom refuses to meet him and I am scared to death that my mom wont come to my wedding day if we were ever to get married or be a part of my family with him. |
Why do you believe that your mother refuses to meet him because his ethnicity is not the same as yours? Why do you believe that this has always been your biggest problem? |
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