Does anyone here know anyone that committed suicide?

 
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anth2000
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2022 2:52 pm    Post subject: Does anyone here know anyone that committed suicide?

Reason I ask, I live in a very family oriented suburbia city in Los Angeles, where my three kids have met friends, and my wife and I have made friends with some of the parents. We have lived here for almost 14 years.

Well, one of the families we know have two sons that are my two sons ages, so we have spent time with the parents in social settings, basketball tryouts, practices, etc. I can’t say we were close to them but felt we knew them ok.

Well, about 4 weeks ago, the husband died suddenly. No one knew why. My wife and I took guesses. Since he was an active guy, and in good shape, I thought heart attack, blot clot….my wife thought suicide. I said, nah, they are a happy family and he was always happy.

Well, we just found out, it was suicide. He hung himself in his garage and his 15 year old son found him and cut him down. He lived for 5 days on life support but was pronounced brain dead and he passed.

I found this so disturbing. First, what made him do this? Was he depressed for a long period of time? Why hang yourself in your house where your own kids could find you? What goes through one’s brain when they have a wife and kids? Now he won’t see his two boys graduate high school, college, get married, have grandkids, etc. I just don’t understand.

Anyone gone through this? Like I said, I wasn’t close to the guy but it still bothers me.

We are going to the service in a couple weeks…just curious if any of you have had any similar experiences…..
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ocho
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2022 3:21 pm    Post subject:

I know two people that have taken their own life. People I loved. One of them didn’t come as much of a surprise. He outwardly suffered depression for many years. He tried to get help in all the various ways people do. His friends and family adored him. He just couldn’t get better, and I think, was tired of trying. The other friend I knew was a total shock. He was the life of the party type. Everyone loved him and he seemed like a happy guy. He was brilliant and hilarious and talented. Not every case is the same.

I understand it’s difficult to see how someone with a family could do something like that. It’s the kind of thought that comes from a rational, healthy mind. That’s not everyone’s experience. They don’t come to these decisions lightly and have very likely thought about it for a long time before going through with it. Unlike a physical illness, a mental illness is more difficult to see and understand. As tragic as it is for the people around them, I try and take a bit of solace that their suffering is over. Anyway, I’m sorry for your loss. Hope your kids are doing ok with the news.
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Mark_in_Tulsa
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2022 5:14 pm    Post subject:

My grandfather did 22 years ago.
He was a very very religious man.

He was in pain physically for many years after prostate cancer.
Dementia started to set in.

Walked into his front yard and shot himself in the head, while my grandma was cooking dinner.


Not sure why he did it in the front yard in a neighborhood with kids. I can understand not doing it in the home to not make a mess. But why not the back yard?
As I type this I am getting emotional. He was a very good man and now I am getting teary eyed thinking about how much pain he was in and me being at a young age of 20 not understanding what he was going through.

I guess I suppressed his death and didn't really think about it how much he must have been going through. Now I feel bad not really thinking about what pain he was in.

Now I am crying.
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venturalakersfan
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 7:35 am    Post subject:

My nephew did right before the 4th. He was accidentally shot in the ankle at 5 and used drugs to mask the pain, which turned into more recreational use. Him and my niece bought a place in Goleta, they have a brilliant soon to be 7-year old and he had a good job as a plumber. But the substance abuse won out, my niece and their son moved in with my sister and brother in law while they tried working things out. We were camping at the beach when our niece called and told us that he had shot himself. Turned out his blood alcohol content was 0.39.

I feel for the 15 year old who found his father. That happened to me at 14, only my father had passed of natural causes. It will be 48 years this month but I still remember every detail. I hope that young man doesn’t have future issues as a result.
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LakersRGolden
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 7:54 am    Post subject:

Uncle. He was a curmudgeon. He had 8 kids and a grandchild at the time. Divorced, and my aunt was a lung cancer victim.

We weren't close, but it seemed like for him a mixture of depression, pressures of life, and self medicating with alcohol.
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Heartburn
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 2:18 pm    Post subject:

Yes. A former boss.

He was a wonderful person from all appearances. I had known him for 10 years and while I rose up the ranks, he was always very generous with his time and his counsel. I really looked up to him. In a business where there are very few minorities who have excelled the way he did, it was a real loss. He did some ground-breaking stuff and always carried himself in a stylish and genteel manner.

I think about him often and when I have gone through my own bouts of depression, his memory has been a touchstone for me.

During his memorial service, his priest described depression as a rogue wave. Sometimes that despair can overcome you quickly and before you can get out of the way, you can get swallowed up. That really hit home.

I hope he found peace. His family, too.
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SweetP
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 4:38 pm    Post subject:

Yes. I knew a man, suffered from depression for years, who also hung himself in his garage. Wife came home, pressed the garage door opener and found him.

The thing is, 99.99% of the time she would have had their two young kids in the car when she pressed that opener. Just happened she made an unexpected swing by the house to pick something up before going to get the kids.

I know how much he loved those kids so I've never been able to get past the idea that he had to have known that hanging himself there meant his 7 and 9 year-old kids were going to find him. Just random luck they did not. Was hard enough on his wife, can't imagine what it would have done to his kids.

All I can come up with is that he was in such a dark place he couldn't even think about that. I was honestly not surprised he killed himself, just that he did it that way.
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venturalakersfan
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 4:50 pm    Post subject:

My uncle committed suicide, he was at my grandmas house and called his younger son to come over. When he heard the kid come in the door he shot himself. Prick. Later, that son killed himself.
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Robblake
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 8:05 pm    Post subject:

We just had a 21 year old kid hang himself off a bridge here in my town. It's not a large town by any means. Just absolutely hate it.
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lakez34
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:39 pm    Post subject:

Wow these stories are really tough to read. There must be so much sadness and/or pain they're suffering from to do that. Have a buddy suffering periodically from suicidal thoughts due to overwhelming financial burdens and pressure of letting others down, and it's just so hard to try and point out what he has to live for when the mind is so wound up with the pressure and/or pain.
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kikanga
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:53 pm    Post subject: Re: Does anyone here know anyone that committed suicide?

anth2000 wrote:
Anyone gone through this? Like I said, I wasn’t close to the guy but it still bothers me.


That's healthy.

Death, dying and bereavement is ignored and repressed in our society.

And when our lives eventually bump up against the reality of finite existence. It's disconcerting.
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slavavov
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PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2022 2:35 am    Post subject:

Mark_in_Tulsa wrote:
My grandfather did 22 years ago.
He was a very very religious man.

He was in pain physically for many years after prostate cancer.
Dementia started to set in.

Walked into his front yard and shot himself in the head, while my grandma was cooking dinner.


Not sure why he did it in the front yard in a neighborhood with kids. I can understand not doing it in the home to not make a mess. But why not the back yard?
As I type this I am getting emotional. He was a very good man and now I am getting teary eyed thinking about how much pain he was in and me being at a young age of 20 not understanding what he was going through.

I guess I suppressed his death and didn't really think about it how much he must have been going through. Now I feel bad not really thinking about what pain he was in.

Now I am crying.

I know this is somewhat off topic, but your sad story about your grandpa is one reason why I'd support doctor-assisted suicide (with safeguards in place, of course).

I don't know anyone who committed suicide, but my grandpa died of Alzheimer's when I was a little kid. I used to visit him in the old folks home he was in, and it was depressing to see him deteriorate to the point where he almost looked like he was already dead.

Seeing a loved one go through that kind of pain for years because of a serious medical condition must be the most heart-wrenching thing ever. I'm not the least bit religious, but I feel like it may be better for those people to be put out of their misery in a humane and compassionate way with the consent of their immediate family.
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gumby
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 11:15 pm    Post subject:

This was back about a couple years after I graduated high school, so around the mid 90s. I was home and about a block away from the park I used to play basketball at (Little Lake Park in Norwalk, Ca). One saturday that summer, I decided to go do some pickup games and had some strange feeling and decided not to go play once I saw there wasn’t too much going on at the courts and turned around about halfway there.

I returned home and forgot about playing basketball.

A few days later some of my friends called and let me know a dear friend died and there was a funeral for him. We went there and participated in the funeral service a few days later.

We were shocked that we heard he took his own life because he seemed fine aside from the mini reunion of all of us had in our circle of friends from high school.

He was there for that and was usually super skinny, but he had gained some weight while at UCSD for biomed but he was not overweight. He just looked different cause he was so skinny before. He even commented on it himself.

So I find out later through my friends that there was an article and police report that described how he took his life with a handgun in his car parked at the parking lot of the very park I always go do pickup games. I read and it happened the same day at around the same time I initially went to the park but decided to turn back. I was in shock.

I still think about it to this day because I always imagine if I went to play like I originally intended, I would have saw him in the parking lot next to the basketball courts and would have said hi and spoke to him for a bit.

Maybe that would have been all he needed to stay alive? Who knows? We could have talked, he could have told me what was on his mind or just the usual BS us friends talked about. Whatever, anything. I just know if I hadn’t changed my mind he might still be here today, maybe being that doctor he wanted to be?

I have a lot of whatifs in my life, this is one of them.

Bye.
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DancingBarry
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2022 9:08 am    Post subject:

Brother-in-law, same way, hung himself in the garage. He had been self medicating quite a bit, but also had some prescriptions/therapy. Worst sound in the world is hearing his daughter when she was told.

We also had a friend shoot herself in the bathtub this past year. Left behind two kids who are about at the age of leaving the house. The whole family had a variety of issues.

By the way, if you haven't checked, look into the rates of girls attempting suicide these days. It's skyrocketed. There are a lot of reasons, but I don't think all the images they get hit with on social media on a daily basis are doing any good. We already had a problem with that prior to social media, but now it's just gone through the roof. Which is why it's a bit disgusting that Facebook/Instagram buried the studies they had on the harmful impacts of their algos.

Tell people you love them. Do it with frequency.
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