This season I tried to be a better cutter...I wanted to pattern my game after Antawn Jamison.
I found that either I was too slow to get open, I wasn't getting any screens or the there was no pass if I did get open. So I end up in my usual corner waiting for the open jumper (where I rarely miss).
But the problem is that the guys know my spot and just stay in front of me so I don't get my shot off as easily any more.
So the question is... since I am spreading the floor by keeping my defender way out on the perimeter in the corner so my post man has room to operate and cannot drop off to double team, am I doing enough to help the team?
Joined: 28 May 2003 Posts: 8598 Location: (physically) West Seattle (heart) Venice Beach
Posted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 10:27 am Post subject:
Lakerpark wrote:
This season I tried to be a better cutter...I wanted to pattern my game after Antawn Jamison.
I found that either I was too slow to get open, I wasn't getting any screens or the there was no pass if I did get open. So I end up in my usual corner waiting for the open jumper (where I rarely miss).
But the problem is that the guys know my spot and just stay in front of me so I don't get my shot off as easily any more.
So the question is... since I am spreading the floor by keeping my defender way out on the perimeter in the corner so my post man has room to operate and cannot drop off to double team, am I doing enough to help the team?
Focus on setting good off-ball screens to get other teammates open.
The better screen you set for teammates, the more you'll find that YOU are the one that's open. _________________ Everything. Changes.
Joined: 24 Jun 2012 Posts: 7107 Location: Thessaloniki
Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 12:47 am Post subject:
AJLakerFan wrote:
The person who comes down the court and jacks up a shot is the one who gets on my nerves.
I hate the guy who has 0 skill, but keeps the ball away from you, dribbles around like a PG wannabe and turns it over or misses the layup. _________________
the guy (probably some businessman) who halts the game to take a phone call. and he expects the rest to wait for him until he hangs up. this will happen another 3 or 4 times until he decides that it's time for him to leave, even if it's in the middle of a tight game.
Joined: 22 Feb 2005 Posts: 4034 Location: Westside
Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 2:00 am Post subject:
The ballhogs who think they are Kobe or LBJ always going ISO with no court vision and don't know what passing is. And on defense..players who can't play defense without hacking your arms and hands all over the place causing a turnover with no foul call. And of course dirty players who try to get away with elbows and cheap shots.
Joined: 24 Jun 2012 Posts: 7107 Location: Thessaloniki
Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 2:25 am Post subject:
PassiontoWin wrote:
The ballhogs who think they are Kobe or LBJ always going ISO with no court vision and don't know what passing is. And on defense..players who can't play defense without hacking your arms and hands all over the place causing a turnover with no foul call. And of course dirty players who try to get away with elbows and cheap shots.
I LOVE THESE GUYS!
It gives me unbelievable pleasure to guard them, shut their asses down and steal the bal or emphatically block them and then watch them cry for a foul while I raise my middle finger at them. _________________
I hate the guys who don't pass me the ball and get out of the way. I hate when people keep trying to play while I'm taking my important business calls.
Joined: 14 Jul 2006 Posts: 18651 Location: L.A County, 26 miles away from Staples Center
Posted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 7:31 am Post subject:
C M B wrote:
1.) The High Expector
The player who is more athletic and talented than most players on the court and has extensive experience playing organized ball, but has ZERO tolerance for non-regular/inexperienced players who can't catch 250mph bounce passes or knock down open jumpshots like you're f'ing Dell Curry. This player feels like every possession is for the NBA championship and is keeping a Nazi eye on every mistake you make and will let you hear about it via slapping his hands together and whining: "aw come OWN dawg, how you missed dat?" You are an inconvenience to this player. He's pissed that you ended up on his team. After your team loses and the other team asks "Wanna run it back?", he exclaims "Aw HELL naw we need to switch up these teams!" despite only losing by only 1 point, which was the game winning basket that he failed to cover. Losing wasn't his fault; it was your fault. This player typically took the bus to get to the court. Almost winning a game was the highlight of his day.
2.) The Snoot
This guy is of the same blood as the High Expector, but is not obnoxious in his pomposity. When there is an even number of players on the court shooting around and he is asked "You wanna run?", he examines you and the other players and a.) determines that he is too far above the level of competition and declines the invitation and insists that he just wants to shoot around on his basket, even if it means leaving the total of available players at 9 thus destroying the possibility of playing a full-court game once a 10th player actually arrives or b.) accepts the invitation to play not out of eagerness to play but out of annoyance and the resignation that he has to play with chumps like you..."I guess...Imma change mah shoes though." The snoot usually has another, newer and more expensive pair of shoes in a bag somewhere that he will change into to signify that everything he was doing before reluctantly playing with you was just child's play. Much like the High Expector, he does not have reliable transportation or a steady job.
3.) Asian Stephon Marbury
This player is well-dressed for the game: Great shoes, shorts that go down to his ankles, compression tights, sweatband (worn above the elbow), upper arm tattoo. He's fast and quick. But he's 5'2", shoots the ball like he's Sasha Vujacic in practice, but only hits like Sasha Vujacic during gametime. Thinks he can dribble the ball like Pistol Pete in the 70s but his actual ball handling makes him less effective than Pistol Pete circa 2012. Has reliable transportation, but will probably drive to a Bikini Coffee Bar or Sam Woo's BBQ after the court lights turn off.
4.) Mr. Up Top
This player is hated by all other players on the court. Well-after possession has changed and you are dribbling the ball full speed to what you think should most certainly be a wide open layup, you take a glance behind you and notice that most of the other players are standing near the opposing basket with their backs turned to you and their hands resting on their hips. This is because Mr. Up Top has called yet another bogus foul causing a stoppage in play.
"BUT NOBODY TOUCHED YOU!!!!" cry the other players, in unison.
"Motha (bleep) I don't care what you say I called ball up top!"
Over a year old post and still I never laughed so hard on anything here in LG! Lololololol loloolololllololol
The "asian Stephon Marbury" just destroyed me at work. My boss told me to tone it down and I don't care I'm laughing out the office still!
Joined: 09 Jul 2010 Posts: 7844 Location: Orange County
Posted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 12:41 pm Post subject:
I had some guy push me mid-air on a layup after I beat him off the dribble and i went straight into the pole. I barely managed to avoid getting my face a makeover but that got me fuming. For the rest of the game I played really tight but not dirty D on him. He was pissed enough to throw an elbow to the back of my head by the end of the game and took off his shirt and threw it on the ground when I confronted him about it. My friends just kind of laughed it off. I play ball for fun these days and rarely give my best effort these days unless something is on the line or the other team is dirty.
I had some guy push me mid-air on a layup after I beat him off the dribble and i went straight into the pole. I barely managed to avoid getting my face a makeover but that got me fuming. For the rest of the game I played really tight but not dirty D on him. He was pissed enough to throw an elbow to the back of my head by the end of the game and took off his shirt and threw it on the ground when I confronted him about it. My friends just kind of laughed it off. I play ball for fun these days and rarely give my best effort these days unless something is on the line or the other team is dirty.
6) The Rhino. He's the guy with the mentality that he's the sole judge of physical play inside, and not coincidentally, the guy who specializes in ultra-rough play. He's never actually fouled anyone, the rest of the players are just weak.
I hate having teammates that don't utilize the screens set for them... and especially when they freeze up as to what they want to do next and just keep dribbling in one place. Thanks for making us both look like idiots. And also the teammate that I pass the ball in the post and he immediately dribbles it out to the 3-point line to miss yet another one. Come on... serious? You're not Larry Bird and the guy guarding you is much shorter.
Hah. I'm a Dirty work kind of player. Rebounds, screens, and defense. I usually play with my little brother though, who is small, quick, with handles, can shoot, and passes.
Personally, the guys that annoy me most are the guys who always call foul or just always talking about how everyone is so terrible.
There was this guy in a Members Only jacket who showed up and started telling everyone that their game was doodoo. I was playing with a friend who was all city back in the day. I passed it to him and he dunked on the guy so hard that he sprawled out.
Next play, the Members Only guy called a foul on me for boxing him out on a rebound. I am literally twice that guy's weight. _________________ "Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."
Joined: 15 Nov 2006 Posts: 19864 Location: Prarie & Manchester, high above the western sideline
Posted: Tue Oct 21, 2014 6:17 pm Post subject:
Mr. Magoo
It's primetime on a Monday night and you're at your favorite court running full. The play makes its way back down to the far end of the court, and the guys who've got next quickly surround the unused basket and start shooting around when suddenly HAVLICEK STEALS IT! Havlicek stole the ball! All of the philistines who couldn't simply sit & wait for their turn still have enough taste and consideration to quickly fetch their shootaround balls and make clearance for the rapidly approaching fast break stampede. All of them except for one. One dicksplash with earbuds in. He's practicing his Globetrotters spider dribble, and cannot sense the commotion of 10 grown men huffing & stomping back to ground zero over the symphonies of "Who Let the Dogs Out? by the Baha Men. One of the players on offense pulls up for a transition 2-pointer that gets REEjected by Mr. Magoo's layup attempt. Everyone's rhythm is broken. Mr. Magoo feels the awkward heat for the duration of the game and inconspicuously leaves the court and drives away in his Tercel with expired tags just before the winning point is wrapped up, so as to avoid atonement for his crimes. "Wait! The game ball was my ball! Aw, (bleep) it." says Magoo, as he floors it back to his studio apartment in Rowland Heights which is situated upstairs from a Boba joint and downstairs from another Boba joint. Tragically, Mr. Magoo had next. _________________ http://chickhearn.ytmnd.com/
Sister Golden Hair wrote:
LAMAR ODOM is an anagram for ... DOOM ALARM
Last edited by C M B on Tue Oct 21, 2014 6:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
At my age I'm parts #4 & #5, oh well. The pickup game changes as you get older and your life has more responsibilities (like work). Can't be jumping in the lane and going hard after loose balls to risk injury.
BTW, most guys who create a list like this aren't half as good as they think they are...
Or they got their ass handed to them by one or all on their list today.
This really is one of the greatest threads in the history of LG, glad it was bumped...surprisingly after reading through all of it again, there were a few others who were missed:
Wilford Brimley
This guy hasn't played basketball regularly since the first Bush administration and is 25 years older than anyone else on the court, yet he picked today for his comeback and of course has "next" and even worse...you are stuck on his team. Why is he here you ask? Shouldn't he be shopping for pleated Khakis at The Gap on a Saturday morning?
The Old Man then proceeds to confirm all your worst expectations during the course of the game. Not only is he completely out of breath and dead tired less than two minutes into the game, he compounds the horror by failing to be able to catch passes right in his hands or control rebounds that fall right to him. He also stops guarding his man approximately two minutes into the game and starts yelling "Switch" and "Pick" over and over again instead of moving his feet.
He is humble and apologetic for his failings, you hate him as you realize you will be sitting for at least an hour after losing the game due to his failed captaincy but you cannot yell at him because 1. He is turning brighter and brighter red with each passing minute and could be on the verge of a heart attack and 2. He has of course brought his overweight wife and the kiddies to watch him try and recapture his former on-court glory.
Of course, he is wearing either gray formless sweatpants on a 95 degree day or uncomfortably tight shorts with his high school logo on them that is almost impossible to make out any more as the shorts are over 30 years old and most of the logo has worn away.
The Old Man is also a nuisance to the other team as he inevitably resorts to old man tricks such as stepping on your foot so you cannot move (since he can't either) or holding onto your shorts like he is a baby duckling following his mother around hoping for a piece of a worm.
His day usually ends with an awkward fall on the pavement at some point that leaves him bleeding and bruised, he many times will even have to "retire" again before the game is even over at that point asking "anyone want to take my place" while his woman and children try and hide their embarrassment with glazed smiles.
Sadly, this is probably me now most times I go to the park.
Curly Neal
This is the flashy ballhandling showboat who will dribble behind the back or between the legs over and over again for no apparent reason. Many times the defenders will just step back and wait for him to finish his routine so the game can continue again. His moves never result in any advantage on the play, it is just for his own enjoyment.
When he dribbles between the legs, he will often lift one leg like an awkward stork taking a dump. He also typically specializes in the unnecessary behind the back pass straight out of bounds (your fault for not expecting it of course) or alley oop passes thrown so high that LeBron James on a trampoline would not have a chance of catching it much less the schleps he is playing with.
He can be of any race, but is guaranteed to be under 5-8 and wearing some type of necklace and or earrings and of course has at least one ridiculous tattoo.
The Scratcher
This is the guy who never discovered the modern invention of fingernail clippers. The first time you beat him badly off the dribble (and you will because he is typically a terrible player) he scratches your arm trying to "steal the ball" and you are left with a dual 9 inch mark of on your arm or in some cases your face for the next week just because you wanted some (bleep) exercise.
As you wonder if the guy has just infected you with ringworm, you also are not surprised to realize he is also wearing a watch so if he is unable to scratch you with his nails, he is sure to cut you at some point in the game with his watch as he is a dual threat. _________________ Love, Laker Lanny
Sadly, this is probably me now most times I go to the park.
LakerBrimley. That kinda works. LakerWilford doesn't roll off the tongue. Wilford was old back in 82, but he was a don in The Thing. Be like THAT Wilford Brimley, Lanny, not the Quaker spokesman.
LakerBrimley wrote:
The Scratcher
This is the guy who never discovered the modern invention of fingernail clippers. The first time you beat him badly off the dribble (and you will because he is typically a terrible player) he scratches your arm trying to "steal the ball" and you are left with a dual 9 inch mark of on your arm or in some cases your face for the next week just because you wanted some (bleep) exercise.
Van Exel had nails long enough to see them on an analog set. Never cut them, entire career. It used to bug me and probably Del too. The Scratcher wreaks havoc on us WHIT EBOYs (J-Will tattoo on fingers), too. We come away with raw, red streaks looking like we survived a werewolf attack. _________________ GOAT MAGIC REEL SEDALE TRIBUTE EDDIE DONX!
Sadly, this is probably me now most times I go to the park.
LakerBrimley. That kinda works. LakerWilford doesn't roll off the tongue. Wilford was old back in 82, but he was a don in The Thing. Be like THAT Wilford Brimley, Lanny, not the Quaker spokesman.
LakerBrimley wrote:
The Scratcher
This is the guy who never discovered the modern invention of fingernail clippers. The first time you beat him badly off the dribble (and you will because he is typically a terrible player) he scratches your arm trying to "steal the ball" and you are left with a dual 9 inch mark of on your arm or in some cases your face for the next week just because you wanted some (bleep) exercise.
Van Exel had nails long enough to see them on an analog set. Never cut them, entire career. It used to bug me and probably Del too. The Scratcher wreaks havoc on us WHIT EBOYs (J-Will tattoo on fingers), too. We come away with raw, red streaks looking like we survived a werewolf attack.
I do like LakerBrimley. If my LG post count wasn't my pride and joy in an otherwise mediocre life, I would consider creating an alternate user name like that *purs Troll Man In Black did so I could post back and forth to myself like he did.
Van Exel was known for some strange behavior, the nails were really no surprise coming from him....he might be my favorite Laker of all time that never won a title while playing for the team. It is amazing he didn't claw Delmer to death at some point...having Delmer coaching the LakeShow Lakers with arguably the best roster in the last 30 years in the NBA is like buying a brand new Ferrari and never washing it.
But that is for another thread, Brimley out. _________________ Love, Laker Lanny
Joined: 15 Nov 2006 Posts: 19864 Location: Prarie & Manchester, high above the western sideline
Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2014 10:22 pm Post subject:
LakerLanny wrote:
non-player zealot wrote:
LakerLanny wrote:
Wilford Brimley
Sadly, this is probably me now most times I go to the park.
LakerBrimley. That kinda works. LakerWilford doesn't roll off the tongue. Wilford was old back in 82, but he was a don in The Thing. Be like THAT Wilford Brimley, Lanny, not the Quaker spokesman.
LakerBrimley wrote:
The Scratcher
This is the guy who never discovered the modern invention of fingernail clippers. The first time you beat him badly off the dribble (and you will because he is typically a terrible player) he scratches your arm trying to "steal the ball" and you are left with a dual 9 inch mark of on your arm or in some cases your face for the next week just because you wanted some (bleep) exercise.
Van Exel had nails long enough to see them on an analog set. Never cut them, entire career. It used to bug me and probably Del too. The Scratcher wreaks havoc on us WHIT EBOYs (J-Will tattoo on fingers), too. We come away with raw, red streaks looking like we survived a werewolf attack.
I do like LakerBrimley. If my LG post count wasn't my pride and joy in an otherwise mediocre life, I would consider creating an alternate user name like that *purs Troll Man In Black did so I could post back and forth to myself like he did.
Van Exel was known for some strange behavior, the nails were really no surprise coming from him....he might be my favorite Laker of all time that never won a title while playing for the team. It is amazing he didn't claw Delmer to death at some point...having Delmer coaching the LakeShow Lakers with arguably the best roster in the last 30 years in the NBA is like buying a brand new Ferrari and never washing it.
But that is for another thread, Brimley out.
Van Exel was a syndromy looking mother (bleep). Face & head of someone who hit the eject button a few weeks short of the projected delivery date. _________________ http://chickhearn.ytmnd.com/
Just reading Wilford Brimley made me laugh out loud like a complete ass.
* "The Thing" was just on cable the other night (Brimley co-starred) and I immediately pictured him. But instead of frozen tundra apparel, he was wearing a headband, some old beat-up sneakers , tiny shorts with the slits on the side and a tank top. Classic. _________________ "Dread it, run from it... destiny arrives all the same."
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